Some Women Hold Up Dresses

Her Idea Of A Romantic Setting Is One That Has A Diamond In It. If You Feel The Need To Marry A Doctor, I Suggest A Dermatologist. Good Hours, Free Retin-a.

I Don't Plan To Grow Old Gracefully. I Plan To Have Face-lifts Until My Ears Meet.

Marriages Don't Last. When I Meet A Guy, The First Question I Ask Myself Is: Is This The Man I Want My Children To Spend Their Weekends With?

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

Some People Think Having Large Breasts Makes A Woman Stupid. Actually, It's Quite The Opposite: A Woman Having Large Breasts Makes Men Stupid.