So I Was In Tesco's

I Had A Meal Last Night. I Ordered Everything In French, Surprised Everybody. It Was A Chinese Restaurant. I Said To This Chinese Waiter, 'look, This Chicken I Got Here Is Cold.' He Said, 'it Should Be, It's Been Dead Two Weeks.'

I Used To Be Indecisive But Now I Am Not Quite Sure

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A Ten Pound Marshmallow. When I Woke Up The Pillow Was Gone.

So I Rang Up A Local Building Firm, I Said 'i Want A Skip Outside My House.' He Said 'i'm Not Stopping You.'