One Time I Saw An

Nothing Wise Was Ever Printed Upon An Apron.

My Friend Says Touche Way Too Much. He's A Touche Bag.

To Make A Squirrel Look Less Uptight, Put Tiny Sunglasses On It.

When A Dalmatian Sees A Cow He Must Be Like, 'what The Hell Happened To Him? I Am High Right Now. That Dalmatian Is Fat And Smeary.' When The Cow Sees The Dalmatian He Must Be Like, 'he Looks Amazing. I Am So Out Of Shape, This Is Ridiculous. My Tits Are On The Ground Here.

One Thing I Learned Is That It's Never Ok To Walk Through A Cemetery Dressed As A Mummy - Even If That Was A Shortcut On The Way To The Costume Party.