On A New York Subway

Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Terminal Disease.

The Only Way That I Could Figure They Could Improve Upon Coca-cola, One Of Life's Most Delightful Elixirs, Which Studies Prove Will Heal The Sick And Occasionally Raise The Dead, Is To Put Bourbon In It.

It's Difficult To Think Anything But Pleasant Thoughts While Eating A Homegrown Tomato.

There's No Such Thing As Being Too Southern.

Money Doesn't Grow On Trees, And If It Did Somebody Else Would Own The Orchard.