Never Marry A Girl Named

We're More Effective Than Birth Control Pills.

Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In Your Martini When Youre Hungry.

It Was So Hot Today I Saw A Robin Dipping His Worm In Nestea.it Was So Hot Today I Saw A Pigeon Walking In The Shadow Of Orson Welles.it Was So Hot Today That Burger King Was Singing, "if You Want It Your Way, Cook It Yourself.

The Price Of Christmas Toys Is Outrageous - A Hundred Dollars, Two Hundred Dollars For Video Games For The Youngsters. I Remember A Christmas Years Ago When My Son Was A Kid. I Bought Him A Tank. It Was About A Hundred Dollars, A Lot Of Money In Those Days. It Was The Kind Of Tank You Could Actually Get Inside And Ride In. He Played In The Box It Came In. It Taught Me A Very Valuable Lesson. Next Year He Got A Box. And I Got A Hundred Dollars' Worth Of Scotch.

Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men. But Married Men Are A Lot More Willing To Die.