The Only Thing Money Gives

Egyptian President Sadat Had A Belly Dancer Entertain President Nixon At A State Dinner. Mr. Nixon Was Really Impressed. He Hadn't Seen Contortions Like That Since Rose Mary Woods.

Happiness Is A Tiger In Your Tank And A Pussycat In Your Back Seat.

Democracy Means That Anyone Can Grow Up To Be President, And Anyone Who Doesn't Grow Up Can Be Vice President.

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.

As For Being Sociable, I Hate The Phoniness In The Showbiz World. I Know This Will Be Taken Wrong, But I Don't Like Clubs And Organizations. I Was Never A Joiner.