My Wife Staci Made Me

When I Was At The University Of California At Berkeley, I Went To Some Classes That Must Have Had More Than Four Hundred Students In Them. I Almost Always Sat In The Far Back Of The Auditorium So I Could Read The Newspaper. I Remember That I Stayed Late One Day To Ask The Professor A Question, And When I Got Up To Him, All I Could Think To Myself Was, 'so This Is What The Professor Looks Like.

If You Put Me In South Park, That Audience Is Going To Fall Asleep In Five Minutes.

You Can Write A Little And Can Draw A Little, But There's Necessarily A Limitation On Both In A Comic Strip, Since It Appears In Such A Tiny Space.

If A Restaurant Offers Crayons, I Always Take Them And Color Throughout The Meal. It Beats Talking To The People I Came To Dinner With.

Most Poetry Just Confounds Me. I Really Want To Like It, But I Can't Help Thinking It's A Hoax. (p. 24)