My Wife Said To Me

Well, I'm A 14 Handicap. Anyone Who Golfs Knows What That Means.

I Had A Very Italian House - The "plastic Furniture You Couldn't Sit On" House. Did Anybody Have The Museum House? For A Kid It's Traumatic. Towels You Can Never Touch. China No One's Ever Gonna Use. Everything Is For A Special Occasion That Never Happens. My Mother Was Waiting For The Pope To Show Up For Dinner. Or Sinatra. Or Chachi.

I'm Now Unemployed. It's A Weird Feeling With No Work, But At Least There's Still Golf. Standup Comedy Is Like My Core, It's What I Do. But I Want To Be A Pro Golfer. It's A Love/hate Relationship With Golf. I Can Come Away Feeling So Serene, And Yet, It's The Thing That I Can Let Get To Me To Throw A Club And Say Curses That Don't Even Exist. I'm Obsessed With Something That Won't Let Me Master It. I Don't Know. I Need Therapy.

I Wasn't Really That Informed About The Two-year-old. Oh, I'd Read About Them, And Occasionally I'd See Documentaries On The Discovery Channel Showing Two-year-olds In The Wild, Where They Belong.

When You Go To Standup, There Seems To Be A Common Denominator Of Some Form Of Need Or Want For Validation From The Audience That Maybe You Were Lacking As A Kid.