My Wife Gets All The

That's When You Know You're A True Married Couple: When You Have To Apologize For What You Did In Her Dream.

People Think Living In Your Parents' Basement Until You're Twenty-nine Is Lame. But What They Don't Realize Is That While You're There, You Save Money On Rent, Food, And Dates.

As An Actor, That's Nerve-wracking Enough [drunk And Doing Coke] Because You Have To Do It At The Right Level.

I Do Know Its Important To Keep The Romantic Spark Alive In Your Marriage. But With Four Kids, Sometimes It's Enough Just To Keep Yourself Alive.

Parents, Just Keep In Mind That Kids Will Always Round Off To The Nearest Obscenity.