My Tears Cure Cancer Too,

Well It's Not That I Hate Them, But Honestly If I Saw Two Homeless People Begging For Money, One White And One Black, And I Only Had One Quarter... Well I'd Probably Keep It Actually.

I Once Fisted Two Babies And Then Used The Corpses As Boxing Gloves To Fight Off The Grieving Parents.

Am I Really Gonna Deny Someone The Opportunity Of A Lifetime Just Because They Met Me 5 Easters Early?

If We've Learned Anything, It's That The Combination Of Yellow Smiley Faces And Blue Polyester Vests Are Irresistible To The Inbred.

Whenever I'm Feeling A Bit Down, I Always Visit The Local Children's Hospital. Knowing That Those Cancer-kids Wont Be Able To Live Long Enough To Surpass Me In Fame Just Warms My Heart, You Know?