My Parents Were Very Protective.

New York's Such A Wonderful City. Although I Was At The Library Today. The Guy Was Very Rude. I Said, "i'd Like A Card." He Says, "you Have To Prove You're A Citizen Of New York." So I Stabbed Him.

Writing Jokes For Others Is Like Having Babies For Someone Else. It's Sad. Like The Woman Who Gives Up Her Baby But Needs To Be Close So She Secretly Becomes The Maid In The Household.

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With Another Man And I Was Crushed. So I Said, "get Off Of Me, You Two!"

Pentiums Melt In Your Pc, Not In Your Hand.