My Old Man Never Liked

Last Week I Told My Psychiatrist, 'i Keep Thinking About Suicide', And He Told Me From Now I Have To Pay In Advance.

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

I Asked My Wife, 'is There Somebody Else?' She Said, 'there Must Be.'

I Told My Dentist My Teeth Are Going Yellow. He Told Me To Wear A Brown Tie.

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!