My Mother Never Breast Fed

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

A Hooker Once Told Me She Had A Headache.

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.

She Was So Fat That Her Bathtub Has Stretch Marks.

One Day As I Came Home Early, I Saw A Man Jogging Naked. I Said To The Guy, 'hey, Buddy, Why Are You Doing That?' He Said, 'because You Came Home Early.'