My Father Really, Really Pushed

If An Opportunity Scares You, That's God's Way Of Saying You Should Jump At It.

If I Get The Forty Additional Years Statisticians Say Are Likely Coming To Me, I Could Fit In At Least One, Maybe Two New Lifetimes. Sad That Only One Of Those Lifetimes Can Include Being The Mother Of Young Children.

Ignorant Free Speech Often Works Against The Speaker. That Is One Of Several Reasons Why It Must Be Given Rein Instead Of Suppressed.

The Best Thing About Sassy Seats Is That Grandmothers Cannot Figure Out How They Work And Are In Constant Fear Of The Child's Falling. This Often Makes Them Forget To Comment On Other Aspects Of The Child's Development, Like Why He Is Not Yet Talking Or Is Still Wearing Diapers. Some Grandmothers Will Spend An Entire Meal Peering Beneath The Table And Saying, "is That Thing Steady?" Rather Than, "have You Had A Doctor Look At That Left Hand?

No One Thinks Anything Silly Is Suitable When They Are An Adolescent. Such An Enormous Share Of Their Own Behavior Is Silly That They Lose All Proper Perspective On Silliness, Like A Baker Who Is Nauseated By The Sight Of His Own Eclairs. This Provides Another Good Argument For The Emerging Theory That The Best Use Of Cryogenics Is To Freeze All Human Beings When They Are Between The Ages Of Twelve And Nineteen.