Mr. Pibb Is A Poor

I Saw A Lady On Tv, She Was Born Without Arms. That's Sad, But Then They Said, "lola Does Not Know The Meaning Of The Word 'can't'." That, To Me, Is Even Worse In A Way. Not Only Is She Missing Arms, But She Doesn't Understand Simple Contractions. It's Easy, Lola - You Just Take Two Words, Put Them Together, Take Out The Middle Letters, Put In A Comma, And You Raise It Up!

One Time A Guy Handed Me A Picture. He Said, 'here's A Picture Of Me When I Was Younger.' Every Picture Is Of You When You Were Younger. 'here's A Picture Of Me When I'm Older.' 'you Son Of Bit, How'd You Pull That Off Let Me See That Camera. What's It Look Like'

I Bought Myself A Parrot, But It Did Not Say "i'm Hungry", And So It Died.

I Ordered A Club Sandwich, But I'm Not Even A Member. "i Like My Sandwiches With Three Pieces Of Bread." "well, So Do I!" "then Let's Form A Club." "ok, But We Need Some More Stipulations. Instead Of Cutting The Sandwich Once, Let's Cut It Again. Yes, Four Triangles, Arranged In A Circle, And In The Middle We Will Dump Chips." "how Do You Feel About Frilly Toothpicks?" "i'm For 'em!" "well, This Club Is Formed."

People Ask Me For My Autograph After A Show. I'm Not Famous, I Think They're Messing With Me. I Think They're Trying To Make Me Late For Something.