Money Can Buy You A

I'm Not For The Parties. I'm For Texas.

Wandering Around Back Stage At A Willie Nelson Concert Is A Bit Like Being The Parrot On The Shoulder Of The Guy Who's Running The Ferris Wheel. It's Not The Best Seat In The House, But You See Enough Lights, Action, People, And Confusion To Make You Wonder If Anybody Knows What The Hell's Going On. If You're Sitting Out Front, Of Course, It All Rolls Along As Smoothly As A German Train Schedule, But As Willie, Like Any Great Magician, Would Be The First To Point Out, The Real Show Is Never In The Center Ring. As Willie Always Says, Fortunately, We're Not In Control.

Cuban Cigars Is A Big Expense Because I Do Smoke A Lot Of Them, Eight To 12 A Day, So That Would Be Almost As Bad As A Cocaine Habit, A Hundred Bucks A Day.

My Plan Is To Bring Back Like The Bracero Program From 1944 That Ran For 20 Years Where The Mexican Government Vets These People. I Mean, They Pay For It, And They Get Green Cards, And They're Actually Legitimate. And Then Seal The Border.

I Support Gay Marriage. I Believe They Have A Right To Be As Miserable As The Rest Of Us.