John Kerry Announced His Plan

Bryant Gumbel Is Thrilled About His Cbs Deal And Can't Wait To Start Alienating The Staff Of An Entirely New Network.

In Massachusetts, Scientists Have Created The First Human Clone. The Bad Thing Is That In Thirty Years, The Clone Will Still Be Depressed Because The Boston Red Sox Will Still Have Not Won A World Series.

There Has Been No Electricity In Baghdad For A Week And The People Are Angry. You Would Be Angry Too If You Couldn't Watch Your Brand New Stolen Tv.

Today, John Kerry Announced A Fool-proof Plan To Wipe Out The $500b Deficit. John Kerry Has A Plan, He's Going To Put It On His Wife's Gold Card.

John Kerry Will Undergo Surgery To Repair His Right Shoulder. He Originally Hurt It When He Suddenly Switched Positions On Iraq.