I've Always Loathed Rich People,

Every Relationship Is Just So Tenuous And Precarious.

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.

Hey, I May Loathe Myself, But It Has Nothing To Do With The Fact That I'm Jewish.

You Know, When You Do Standup There Are Certain Requirements That You Have To Do Like You Have To Go On Stage And When You Get Introduced You Have To Say "hey,how Ya Doin'? How Are Ya?" I Couldn't Do It. It Was False.

I Just Wanted Laughs - That's Really What I Was After.