It's Always Consoling To Know

A Young Man Fills Out An Application For A Job And Does Well Until He Gets To The Last Question, "who Should We Notify In Case Of An Accident?" He Mulls It Over And Then Writes, "anybody In Sight!"

I Like To Think Of Myself As The Middleman Between Fred Allen And Henny Youngman.

Nowadays, When A Speaker Tells The Graduates That The Future Is Theirs--is That A Promise Or A Threat?

The Problem With Life Is, By The Time You Can Read Women Like A Book, Your Library Card Has Expired.

Anytime A Person Goes Into A Delicatessen And Orders A Pastrami On White Bread, Somewhere A Jew Dies.