Iraq's Elite Republican Guard Is

Mitt Romney Is Running For President Again. That Will Be Attempt No. 3. Well, Everybody Needs A Hobby. He's Almost Certainly Running, And I'm Almost Certainly Retiring, So I Don't Care.

Tim Tebow Has Been On The Bench Longer Than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Night Clubs Scare Me. They're Dark And They Stink And They're Dangerous And Everybody's Drunk.

Did You Folks See President Bush's State Of The Union Address? How About That Surprise Announcement? Howard Dean Has Been Captured And He's In The Hands Of Interrogators.

I Knew That If I Woke Up Hung Over, I Couldn't Do The Best Possible Job On The Show, So I Had To Quit. Also, I'd Consumed A Lot Of Beer For A Lot Of Years, And I Thought, That's Enough. I've Had My Fun And I'm Glad I Quit.