In My Life, I Have

You Might Be A Redneck If Exxon And Conoco Have Offered You Royalties For Your Hair.

People Would Say, Can We Develop A Sitcom Around You? And I Would Say, Not Interested. I'm Very Happy Doing Standup And Writing And Taking My Kids To School.

As A Comedian I Appreciate Every Kind Of Comedy. You Decide For Yourself What You're Going To Do.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Move Your Refrigerator And The Grass Underneath It Has Turned Yellow.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stared At A Can Of Orange Juice Because It Said Concentrate.