I'm The Most Unromantic Lump

I Toyed With The Idea Of Playing Ravel's 'pavane Pour Une Infante Defunte' But I Couldn't Remember If It's A Tune Or Latin Prescription For Piles.

A Square Egg In A Dish Of Lentils Won't Make A Marrow Bend With The Wind, Nor Will It Make Rhubarb Grow Up The Milkmaid's Leg.

I'm Often Accused Of Saying Some Pretty Rotten Things About My Mother-in-law. But Quite Honestly, She's Only Got One Major Fault - It's Called Breathing.

I Don't Mind What The Critics Say, So Long As I Get Some Reaction. The Worst Thing Is To Be Ignored.

My Mother-in-law Has So Many Wrinkles, When She Smiles She Looks Like A Venetian Blind.