The Way Prices Are Rising,

Last Year My Wife Ran Off With The Fellow Next Door And I Must Admit, I Still Miss Him.

I Saw Six Men Kicking And Punching The Mother-in-law. My Neighbour Said 'are You Going To Help?' I Said 'no, Six Should Be Enough.'

A Square Egg In A Dish Of Lentils Won't Make A Marrow Bend With The Wind, Nor Will It Make Rhubarb Grow Up The Milkmaid's Leg.

Take My Wife... Please. I'm Not Saying She's Ugly, But When She Went To See A Horror Film, The Audience Thought She Was Making A Personal Appearance.

I've Got A Friend Who Is A Lion Tamer. He Used To Be A School Teacher Till He Lost His Nerve.