I'm Not Only In Touch

I Like To Be Loved By My Children, And I Quite Like The Guardian Hating Me.

Why Is The Forecast So Bland? Why Instead Of 'stormy' Don't They Just Say The Sea's 'a Frothing Maelstrom Of Terror And Hopelessness'?

I Don't Understand Bus Lanes. Why Do Poor People Have To Get To Places Quicker Than I Do?

Biathletes Need To Eat 6.000 Calories A Day: Six Thousand! That's The Equivalent Of 2 Pounds Of Butter, 70 Slices Of Bread, 112 Eggs, 86 Tabs Of Yogurts, 28 Potatoes, 117 Biscuits And 21 Twix Bars. On That Basis, I Could Be An Olympic Biathlete!

There Are Many Rules For The Elderly In The Highway Code. I Have One Too, And Here It Is: Get A Bloody Move On.