I'm A Very Simple Person.

You Know The Oxygen Masks On Airplanes? I Don't Think There's Really Any Oxygen. I Think They're Just To Muffle The Screams.

I Was A Ballerina. I Had To Quit After I Injured A Groin Muscle. It Wasn't Mine.

A Good Place To Meet A Man Is At The Dry Cleaner. These Men Usually Have Jobs And Bathe.

My Mother Was The Worst Cook Ever. In School, When We Traded Lunches, I Had To Throw In An Article Of Clothing.

The Way A Man Looks At Himself In A Mirror Will Tell You If He Can Ever Care About Anyone Else.