I'll Be Spending The Holidays

In School, I Wasn't A Very Good Student - I Was Very Irresponsible And Never Did The Studying But Always Liked To Get The Laugh.

It Seems To Be A Common Denominator With A Lot Of Comics, This Low Self-esteem Thing.

Parents, Just Keep In Mind That Kids Will Always Round Off To The Nearest Obscenity.

Every Parent Knows That For A Kid, The Car Is Chloroform.

I Had A Very Italian House - The "plastic Furniture You Couldn't Sit On" House. Did Anybody Have The Museum House? For A Kid It's Traumatic. Towels You Can Never Touch. China No One's Ever Gonna Use. Everything Is For A Special Occasion That Never Happens. My Mother Was Waiting For The Pope To Show Up For Dinner. Or Sinatra. Or Chachi.