If You Don't Want Gays

Having My Daughter, I Screamed For Twenty-three Hours Straight. And That Was Just During Conception.

I Knew I Was An Unwanted Baby When I Saw That My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

I'm No Cook. When I Want Lemon On Chicken, I Spray It With Pledge.

I Know Now That Everybody In The Arts Is Forever A Beginner. Experience Counts For A Great Deal And Very Little. Every Night Onstage I Feel I Am Starting From Scratch, Still Not Quite Sure What I Am Doing And Where I Am Going, Thrown By The Simplest Thing That Goes Wrong.

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.