If You Are Trying To

A Car Alarm Is A Way For A Car To Tell Everyone That Its Owner Is An Asshole.

Separate But Equal Is Terrible For Education But It's Perfect For Eyebrows.

I Am Everything And I Am Nothing. I Am Just Kidding; I Am Not Everything And Nothing. That Would Be Ridiculous. I Am Just Everything.

I Saw A Sign That Said, 'watch For Children.' I Was Like, 'that Sounds Like A Fair Trade - Especially If They're Crappy Kids.'

To Remove All Credibility From What You're Saying Try Wearing Sunglasses On Your Forehead.