Reality Is A Concept That

The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is A Conga Line.

When I Was In High School I Experimented Sexually. The Experiment Was To Never Have Sex With Anybody No Matter How Hard I Tried. Success! Hypothesis Confirmed.

As A Comic, I Think I'm Very Verbally Oriented About A Lot Of The Stuff That I've Written Or Thought Up And How I Say It.

Yes" Actually Means "no" 100% Of The Time, When The Question Is "can I Give You Some Advice?

Siamese Twins Are Interesting Because They Are The Only People Who Can Write A Biography And An Autobiography At The Same Time.