If It Weren't For Baseball,

Tranquilizers Work Only If You Follow The Advice On The Bottle - Keep Away From Children.

If Your House Is Really A Mess And A Stranger Comes To The Door Greet Him With, 'who Could Have Done This? We Have No Enemies!'

My House Used To Be Haunted, But The Ghosts Haven't Been Back Since The Night I Tried On All My Wigs.

I've Been Asked To Say A Couple Of Words About My Husband, Fang. How About Short And Cheap?

I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing. There's No Use Doing It Now, It Doesn't Fit Anybody I Know.