If I Could Control The

When I Am Given A Multiple Choice Test I Choose Not To Take It.

A Pipe Is Greater Than A Bong. Because When You're Smoking A Pipe At Least It Makes You Look Like You're Thinking About Something.

I've Often Liked A Girl, Made Her Laugh, And Thought She Liked Me, And Then Found Out That She Didn't Like Me That Way. I've Definitely Done Time In The Friend Zone.

At Any Minute, I Am Four Minutes From A Poncho.

I Just Started Doing This One-man Show, And I Wanted To Be Able To Score It, So I Bought A Guitar, And Got A Keyboard And Got A Harmonica. I Remember When I Started That I Didn't Understand Why A Harmonica Had Different Letters On Them.