I Was Sleeping The Other

I Was At A Bar Nursing A Beer. My Nipple Was Getting Quite Soggy.

Because We Allow Handguns. When You Know Someone In The Crowd Might Be Packing A Rod, It Can't Help But Rush Your Timing.

Back In High School, My Buddies Tried To Put The Make On Anything That Moved. I Told Them, Why Limit Yourselves?

The Other Night, The President Gave A Speech. He Said, "children Are Our Most Prescious Natural Resource". I Thought, "let's Hope It Never Comes To That".

I've Been At Stand-up 26 Years Now: After A While, You Get As Jaded As The Proverbial Gynecologist Who No Longer Enjoys Drugging And Violating His Patients.