I Was Lucky I Wasn't

You Know You've Reached Middle Age When Your Weightlifting Consists Merely Of Standing Up.

At The Academy Award Dinners All The Actors And Actresses In Hollywood Gather Around To See What Someone Else Thinks About Their Acting Besides Their Press Agents.

When You Get Over 95, Every Day Is Your Day.

Golf Is A Hard Game To Figure. One Day You Will Go Out And Slice It And Shank It, Hit Into All The Traps And Miss Every Green. The Next Day You Go Out And, For No Reason At All, You Really Stink.

I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing And Said, 'what Do I Do Next?' Pat Replied, 'wait Till The Pain Dies Down.'