I Was Almost Put Out

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's House Unless They Have A Well-stocked Bar.

There Are Only Two Real Ways To Get Ahead Today - Sell Liquor Or Drink It.

A Man Without A Woman Is Like A Neck Without A Pain.

It Is Funnier To Bend Things Than To Break Them.

If I Had My Life To Live Over Again, I'd Live Over A Saloon.