I've Been Very Lucky Because

And Then There Was My Mate Who'd Just Been Fitted With A Brand New Hearing Aid. "it's The Best In The World", He Said. "what Type Is It?", I Asked And He Said "ten Past Twelve".

Who Discovered We Could Get Milk From Cows, And What Did He Think He Was Doing At The Time?

If You Give People A Chance, They Shine.

Never Trust A Man, Who When Left Alone With A Tea Cosey... Doesn't Try It On.

Chic Murray Once Told Me He Fell In The Street, And A Woman Said To Him, "did You Fall?" He Said, "no, I'm Tryin' To Break A Bar Of Chocolate In My Back Pocket."