I Used To Get Drunk

New York's Such A Wonderful City. Although I Was At The Library Today. The Guy Was Very Rude. I Said, "i'd Like A Card." He Says, "you Have To Prove You're A Citizen Of New York." So I Stabbed Him.

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

For Some Reason, Religious Jokes Seem As Trivial As Jokes About Food Or Driving.

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.

Once I Was In A Restaurant And I Dropped My Fork On The Floor, And They Gave Me A New Fork. So I Pushed My Girlfriend Out Of Her Chair.