England Is Better Only Because

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

You Know What I Hate The Most? People That Imitate Owls.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

I Love To Go Down To The Schoolyard And Watch All The Little Children Jump Up And Down And Run Around Yelling And Screaming. They Don't Know I'm Only Using Blanks.

I Grew Up In An Era When Strange Adults Would Grab Me On The Street And Say: 'don't Do That.' You Never See That These Days. 'hi, We Took The Liberty Of Spanking Your Son.' Oh Thanks, My Hand Was Getting Worn.