I Told My Doctor I

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'

My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge Club... I Jump Off Next Tuesday.

Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.

When You Walk Up Five Flights Of Stairs At Four In The Morning, There's Definitely A Hooker Involved.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.