I Think The Power Of

There Was This One Time In Vegas When I Took Four Victoria's Secret Models And Did One Gram Off Each Of Their Bodies Within, Like, 45 Minutes. I Declared Myself King Of Vegas And Decided To Remodel My Hotel Room With My Bare Hands To Resemble King Louis Xiv's Bedroom At Versailles. Knocked Down Two Entire Walls, And Later Had Four Knuckle Surgeries. Still Wasn't As High As Rob Ford.

You Can't Criticize Bob Dylan's Singing. You Have To Respect Billy Joel As A Brilliant Poet. You Can't Tell Me There's A Better Rock Band Ever Than Led Zeppelin. And If You Speak During The Eagles' "last Resort," We're Done. I'm Just Asking For Seven Minutes. This Stuff Really Matters, You Know.

Once You Start Altering Your Body's Blueprint, Things Start Falling Apart. Some Players Take Steroids, And Two Years Later, After They've Broken Records, Suddenly They Have Back Problems, Shoulder Problems, Arm Problems. They're Out Of The Game For Good.

The Last Time I Used? What Do You Mean? I Used My Toaster This Morning.

It's Not An Act. I Love It. It's Totally Original. People Go, 'what's Going On With This Guy? Why Does He Sound So Weird? What Is Going On In His Brain. I Don't Know. Just One Day I Suddenly Woke Up With A New Brain.