I Think Fur Looks Better

I Grew Up In An Era When Strange Adults Would Grab Me On The Street And Say: 'don't Do That.' You Never See That These Days. 'hi, We Took The Liberty Of Spanking Your Son.' Oh Thanks, My Hand Was Getting Worn.

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.

I Think Of My Body As A Temple. Or At Least A Relatively Well-managed Presbyterian Youth Center.

I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone Love You. All You Can Do Is Stalk Them And Hope They'll Panic And Give In.