I Think Bears And Worms

Whenever I See An Autobiography For Sale In The Book Store I Just Flip To The About The Author Section. I'm Like, "done, Next!"

Sometimes I Like To Go Outside Without Even Checking The Weather First.

Here Is A Tip For All You Young People Drinking Wine. With Pasta, Drink White Wine. With Steak, Drink Red Wine. And If You're Vegan, You're Annoying.

Overheard Today In Restaurant: Can You Stop Listening To Our Conversation?

I Saw A Dog Wearing A Sweater And I Thought That Looked Ridiculous 'cause Dogs Don't Have Arms. If You're Going To Put Clothes On The Dog, You Should Put Two Pairs Of Pants On It.