I Still Don't Know How

I'd Rather Call Myself A Mischief-maker, An Imp, Rather Than A Satirist. Satirist Sounds So Self Important. Plus No One Is Calling Himself An Imp Right Now. It Makes Me Feel Special.

The Most Important Thing Is To Write Material That You Think Is Funny. If You Don't Think It's Funny, But You're Convinced That Other People Will Think It Is, Well They Won't.

Think Of All That Hard Work Our Founding Fathers Put In - The Revolutionizing, The Three-fifths Compromising, Having To Write The Entire Constitution With A Quill - And Yet They Neglected To Include The Right To Vote.

I Know A Lot About A Few Things - Mostly Useless Things.

I Have Such Respect For People Who Do Non-fiction Casting After Settling On The Grandparents We Got For This. It Is Really Hard To Find People Who Are Not Fame-whores. We're Lucky These People Actually Wanted To Spend Their Time Doing This. All Of Them Would Have Much Rather Been Cooking Without The Cameras, Being With Their Families. That's Why They're Great Characters.