I Read Books That Say

To Listen To Your Own Silence Is The Key To Comedy.

I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake Sleep For 30 Years.

When I Was Growing Up In Comedy, There Were Maybe 10 Comics In The Whole Country. Everyone Had A Day Job. You Worked Free For Years In Little Clubs, Then You Got Your Big Break And Became A Star.

My Fashion Philosophy Is, If You're Not Covered In Dog Hair, Your Life Is Empty.

A Study Last Year Showed That The Page You Turn To First In The Newspaper Can Be A Predictor Of How Long You Will Live. No Surprise, Turning First To The Comics Pages Prolongs Your Life.