I Prefer Offenbach To Bach

"have You Heard Any Stockhausen?" Beecham Was Asked. "no, But I Believe I Have Stepped In Some."

When Asked Whether He Minded If Someone Smoked In A Non-smoking Compartment. Certainly Not If You Don't Object If I'm Sick.

If She Is Attractive, I Can't Perform With Her; If She Is Not, Then I Won't.

Madam, You Have Between Your Legs An Instrument Capable Of Giving Pleasure To Thousands And All You Can Do Is Scratch It.

A Soprano In Massenet's Don Quixote Complained That She Had Missed Her Entry In The Aria, "because Mr. Challiapin Always Dies Too Soon." "madam, You Must Be Profoundly In Error," Said Sir Thomas, "no Operatic Star Has Yet Died Half Soon Enough For Me."