I Must Have A Drink

No Man Is Boss In His Own Home, But He Can Make Up For It, He Thinks, By Making A Dog Play Dead.

I Am An Expert Of Electricity. My Father Occupied The Chair Of Applied Electricity At The State Prison.

I Personally Stay Away From Natural Foods. At My Age I Need All The Preservatives I Can Get.

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.

Never Try To Impress A Woman, Because If You Do She'll Expect You To Keep Up The Standard For The Rest Of Your Life.