I'm Getting So Old, I

Putting Isn't Golf, Greens Should Be Treated Almost The Same As Water Hazards: You Land On Them, Then Add Two Strokes To Your Score.

When I Used To Gamble, I Looked For Players With Head Covers On Their Irons. Those Guys I Could Beat.

Golf Is The Most Fun You Can Have With Out Taking Your Clothes Off.

Red Meat Is Not Bad For You. Now Blue-green Meat, That's Bad For You!

Maintain A Childhood Enthusiasm For The Game Of Golf.