I'm Fortunate To Know A

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?

The Greatness Of A Man Is Only Measured By His Urologist.

I'm Completely Changing My Diet. My Nutritionist Recommends I Must Now Stop Eating Food I Have Already Eliminated.

My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And I Are Having Sex And We Videotape It And She Falls Out Of Bed Funny, Can I Win Ten-thousand Dollars?

Wise Men Say, Only Fools Rush In. Wise Men Are So Slow.