I Wouldn't Hurt A Flea.

Saw A Man In Whole Foods Yelling At His Son, What Are You Doing?! You Know I Don't Eat Bread!! Is There Such A Thing As Health Food Abuse?

My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And I Are Having Sex And We Videotape It And She Falls Out Of Bed Funny, Can I Win Ten-thousand Dollars?

You Can Talk About Things Indirectly, But If You Want To Talk How People Really Talk, You Have To Talk R-rated. I Mean I've Got Three Incredibly Intelligent Daughters, But When You Get Mad, You Get Mad And You Talk Like People Talk. When A Normal 17-year-old Girl Storms Out Of The House Or 15-year-old Boy Is Mad At His Mom Or Dad, They're Not Talking The Way People Talk On Tv. Unless It's Cable.

Words Matter. Especially Ones With Four Letters.

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.