I'm A Comic, So I

At The Mirage Sportsbook, You Can Get A Line On 2 Kid Playing Wiffleball In The Backyard In Minnesota

I Have Gay Friends, I Support Gay Rights, I Have Nothing Against The Gay Community, But When I See Two Guys Kissing, I Think It's Gross. And, By The Way, It's Gross When 99% Of Straight People Do It, Too.

I Got Into Comedy So I Could Stay Out All Night.

But I Live An Interesting Life And I Can Tell A Pretty Good Story And It Has Helped My Career. But The Downside Is People Know Everything.

Hugs Are Great, But - Better Than Drugs? Come On. Let Me Put It To You This Way: I Never Drove To Harlem At 4 A.m. To Get Somebody To Hug Me.