I Love To Write Jokes

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

Oh, My God. I've Just Told You How Old I Am. Nobody Knows How Old I Am. I'm Going To Have To Kill You Now.

I Don't Like When There's Too Much Conversation Because I'm Shy And It Makes Me Uncomfortable.

Buying Something On Sale Is A Very Special Feeling. In Fact, The Less I Pay For Something, The More It Is Worth To Me.

The Time You Spend Grieving Over A Man Should Never Exceed The Amount Of Time You Actually Spent With Him